Hungry….My Begging Hungry Son

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My soup is ready,
A time to dine and feed the belly,
Today i swindled the junk food,
And parted my back for the work well done

I took the spoon,ready to scoop,
Then dropped it right back,
I am hungry, very hungry,
But i had breakfast this morning.

Its just twelve in the noon,
My hungry eyes scan my pocket,
I am left with no dime
this soup better be worth it.

I take the china ware,
Play about with it debating,
Do i scoop, do i not,
Do i, do i not….

‘Sir are you alright?’

The hotel waiter finally manage to ask me,
I had noticed him watching me for a while,

‘Is there anything wrong with your food?’
Still, no answer.
Then like lightening,
I warm up to him

“Please pack this food for me”

He stares at me.
It was against the rules,
It was a posh neighborhood,
People ate and left.

I beg him,
Finally he burges,
I drive away…very hungry,
Then i stop at the rundown mall in the township,
The little boy is still there,
Begging for coins and handouts,

I walk to him
He smiles broadly,
He knows something good might be coming.
I give him the food,
And his teary eyes burst into a flood of tears..
I don’t know what to do,
I don’t want to attracted attention,
so i drive off

Then it hit me..
The picture i was given…
Sent with untraceable address,
The only information that has been top priority,
I had it in my hand..and suddenly,
Felt way too hungry,

I decided its about time,
I have to know my son ,
Then i open the envelope,
And i cant breath,
Cant breath…

My son stared right into my soul,
With those same teary eyes,
That i had left him with,
Right at the rundown mall
Begging for alms.

I Hurt

you strike me right across the face,
the stinging pain left me in a daze,
for a moment i was in a haze,
and i lost a great second to laze…

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i took it in with a gulp of air,
and watched your mad face at me glare,
and touching you i couldn’t dare,
your rejection i wouldn’t bare…
Yet its me who reached out for you,
and offered my apology to appease you,
and accepted i was rush to judge you,
even wen all i did was express me to you,

then you turned your back on me,
my face you couldn’t stand ,
my ‘sorry’ was such a song,
and i recoiled in a fist of pain and anguish,
and wondered why i had to talk,
when silence would have served.

Watamu Turtles

Great at Watamu
To save the turtle at the other end,
On these roads we traveled,
With these tools we hoped,
Their beautiful life to capture,
The distance was no hinder

I watched a wounded turtle,
I felt pangs of hatrade,
For the pain inflicted,
To a shell of life
A hate towards mankind!

We hate each other,
We kill and maim our own,
Yet for all that i was mum,
But the turtle-a sea turtle..
What was the offense for the execution!

And so my lens was at work,
Every detail finely recording,
With this awesome group of professionals,
We saw the pain in those eyes,
The turtles eyes..our own reflection

Gone Love

To a broken anniversary
Of a love lost long ago
Filled with goose bumps and the memory
Of a soul I can’t let go.

I wish I could remove the distance
That set both our poles apart
If I held a more delicate stance
I could have cradled your heart.

Despite my best intentions for us
The storm still swallowed me whole
Delicate plans were causing me fuss
I failed to honor my role.

No shame of our moment together
Though time has lessened the thrill
Our laughter will echo forever
Such gratitude fills me still.

If an instant of sorrow passed by
Without my loving embrace
Arrogance failed my perceptive eye
Complacency trumping grace.

Now I swim an ocean of regret
Without an island in sight
My mind traces back that silhouette
We shared within our delight.

Within this flesh I know I’ve been blessed
Nothing can tear you from me
Locked deep inside without a protest
With me indefinitely.

In Silence

 Like a wine glass,
Made of brass,
Emanate class
Alas.

Tides that bind,
Dilapidated mind,
you’re Kind,
Remind.

  Generous hips,
  Tattered whips
   Luscious lips,
       Wimps.

   Illicit romance,
Hidden confidence,
evil embrace,
Recess.

  One last sip,
     a tight grip,
   Call Kip,
      Slip.

Shakespears’ Juliet and Romeo Epilo

I had done this work once as a research paper..and i thoroughly enjoyed it i could not help but share it.

Hath three words sweet as mine,
Methinks they hath been shut off,
For grayed folks hath no shine,
In sun to bind of in huff,
Sorrow be their bedfellows none,
To sunshine banish off the land,
For hath them nothing left to atone,
The harsh deadly soup fed by hand
Regret are they that rush to strike,
Yet they strike closer to themselves,
For in stricking thi foe is a trike,
Before thyself notice thy wound as wolves,
Hath me no foresay than these
Anger begets fate like these
SHHHHH!!
Hath shakespears in his writing rush,
To banish youthful beauty from earth,
When grass doth dot it with lush,
Tell me then hath death any worth?
If as wise they had been more bold,
Old in limbs in judgment young,
They that angry blood flow were be told,
Of wasted joy they hath forsaken young,
Like me not how ends the play,
As lovely couple young plays the part,
Where in cold graves there bodies lay
So close to each other yet still apart,
Hath justice been really, served,
When thy play ends so sad.

Look Beyond Aside

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Q: I hate the way i am feeling now,
This fit of rage that is consuming me,
i promised i would never feel this way,
But what is it about you i cant control,
why is it i am weak when its about you…

A: Perhaps its because i am into you
Because i have infiltrated into your very fiber,
Because i know you cannot destroy me,
Since doing so will break you apart.

Q: But i thought i was better than this,
i knew i had outgrown this confusion
that the pain had toughened me,
and that i could not allow you
to get me on my knees.

A: yes right that much is true,
you learnt and believed in your strength,
only you forgot i still reside in you,
and i tap the soft codes of your well being

Q: well yes i know that
i am glad i have soft codes,
For those are what keeps me human,
and seeing the sun in your eyes
that is why this rage is burning me….

RAGED OUT

The Vanity god

The vanity god?

The Rolla costar of things wanted,
Things needed, vanity things,
For the world seems a big vanity,
The only thing that makes bearable at-least,
Is the embrace of the maker,
Communication with Him,
A conversation,
A moment to download……

For the world otherwise seems vain,
Birth, school, work, marriage, death and so goes the cycle.
It’s a turbulent that never stops,
Never slows down……
It got me wondering.

Are we honoring or dishonoring our maker,
Our world
Our race
Our very existence. Our pride
And man! Aren’t we too proud…

Tell me, what do we live for,
How do we live?

Why?

Our prosperity gospel indicates that….
Our ‘god” shall meet us at our point of need
And the only way we know he makes himself evident
Is if we own big houses, drive automobiles and have a fat bank account,
That’s the God we are talking about

Like seriously!!!!!
Todays ‘god’ has become so materialistic we wallow in spiritual poverty.
Our ‘god’ seems so concern about our outward expression,
It no longer matter the inside impression.
Is that the same God, who answered Moses,
‘I AM who I AM?’
Did he change eventually?
Or are we trying to remodel Him.

Now I see

This one time i lift my eyes,
i see your eyes speak to me,
the drink has taken your tongue,
But not your eyes,
And as i listen over and over,
Am ashamed i didn’t notice earlier,
the efforts you have been making,
That i don’t find fault anymore,
That for once i will not complain,
Yet once again i found fault,
To be hurt,
To doubt ,
To fear for us,
Yet this one time,
In your drunken stupor,
You didn’t defend the obvious,
Didn’t try to conceal the truth,
Nor bend the facts,
And voiced your own reservation
This one time you spoke to my heart,
And i decided there was nothing more valuable,
Than you are to me,
Nothing worth salvaging,
If its not what i find in you ,
No relation more important
If its not the one i share with you,
I am proving no one right or wrong,
Just choosing that which i find formidably
For i see my world right through your eyes.

My Own Enemy

i am my enemy ,
i know i am impulsive,
have more than 100% boiling point,
rants like a parrot,
shout as if i am on fire,
nag until u lose your cool,
react as if stung by a bee

but hey,

my Creator was not a fool,
To give me a counter to my flaws.
so dont be quick to judge,
you are not any better

Gratitude

I thank God for the little things:
the moon, the stars, the sun,
I thank God for everyone
and everything He’s done

I thank God for who i am
and the person i’ve become
I thank God for who’s in my life
and that i’m safer than some

I thank God for my family
and how they’re always there
I thank God that they raised me
and how they’ll always care

I thank God for all my friends
and the trust they have in me
I thank God for my happiness
that’s now so easy to see

I thank God for the gift of life
adn that it’s good and pure
I thank God for who’s in mine
to make me safe and sure

I thank God for the gift of love
and what it means to me
I thank God for how our love felt
when you set my heart free

I thank God for my favorite gift
a special gift, it’s true
I thank God for this special gift
and that special gift is you

I thank God that you’re by my side;
that our hearts have become one
I thank God that i have you now
for my love will never be done

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The silenece is shattered
The screams ring out
i wish for the calm before the storm
But all within me shouts..

my screams never heard
No matter how loud
It just merges in
with the rest of the crowd

my voice is failing
the fears suppressed
I have no clue
How to work through the rest
The screams get louder

Can no one hear..
I scream and scream
Still no where near
no one hears just what i say

I could scream and scream til my dying day
my voice not heard not important

the feelings and screams
locked within
when will anyone stop this din

I long for peace..
within my self
Quiet and calm

on this dusty shelf
I stand here within
This huge hole
Screams just eating
away at my soul

where is the peace that i so request
i long for it daily
not in jest

i long for quiet within my head
To hear my own thoughts
Instead of the rests
when will i be me again
in stead of the voice within the crowd
instead of that scream not heard
no matter how loud.

Scream

This Life

Though life may be unkind
And knock me around for a while
Though I may get a few bruise
And carry some permanent scars
I won’t let it defeat me
I’ll never give up

Though life may leave me crumbled
Weeping on the floor
The tears I cry today
Will be gone tomorrow

I’ll stand up with new strength
With courage in my stubborn heart
Refusing to stay down
This isn’t the first time
Life tried to bring an end to me
Nor is this the first time
I fought to survive
I’ve experienced being crushed
Many times in this life I live
Only causing me to rise again
To defiantly stare life in the face
Letting it know
That I will never give up

Life can hurt me
And kick me while I’m down
The bruises will heal
And the scars will fade with time
While I’ll rise once again
To laugh in the face of life
Daring it to try again
Because I’ll never give up

Aside

Be ashamed my friends
Self hatred and disgrace
Is what we should all feel
For the so called human race

We need to change our minds
And make it a better place
To rescue the lost children
Of the so called human race

Let there be no more pain
As the message gains pace
So that we again can be proud
Of the so called human race

Shame