Nostalgic

I have to stay away from soul music
and delicious food
and people kissing
or anything that reminds me of everything that I don’t haveI keep going back to that bridge
the bridge in my mind called misery,
and the pain in my heart that keeps telling me to jump;God keeps calling me back from the edge.

Every time I’m there,
Jesus whispers in my ear:
beauty is not sexiness, beauty is
completeness;then I’m happy again.I’m a firm believer in the walls talking because
I often have conversations with them in my spare time.
We usually talk about death and suicide.Then I hear Jesus whisper in my ear:
“Practice being present.”

then I’m happy again.

There are those days that I wake up;
I go take a shower and look in the mirror
and see the walls that are blocking me
from the love that was already present.
I say to myself “I’m ugly”
and that’s why I’m alone.
Then Jesus whispers to me and says:
“Even in your ugliness you cannot erase the beauty that is already there;
you can only erase your realization of it.”
He goes on to say, “Until the end of your journey
I’ll be there to remind you
You’re not alone.”

I was beautiful again.

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